“I am so thankful for the grace of reviving me, a person, who was about to die, back to life.” > 간증

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“I am so thankful for the grace of reviving me, a person, who was about to die, back to life.”2002-12-17


By Kim, Jeongrae - Kangnam Region, South Korea My index finger and my middle finger were cut off to the first joint. Because of this, they look ugly. Due to an unknown disease, from the finger tip to the first joint, my finger rotted and turned black, and therefore I had to cut off that much. Anyone would say that I was doomed to die, but because of God who is alive and working and because of the great love of Dae Mo Nim, who brought me back to life, I gained a new life. I want to testify to the grace of being able to live a second life. Because I had a healthy body, I did not take medication when I caught a cold and so forth. From the summer of 1993, my body felt weak. I had no desire to do anything, and I had body aches and pain all over my whole body. Because my leg hurt, it was difficult for me to walk. Even though it was difficult for me to do house chores, as a pastor’s wife I had to endure everything. But because the pain was unbearable, I went to get it checked out at a hospital, and after an examination I was told that I was fatigued from catching the flu. I took the medicine that the hospital gave me, but it had no effect in me. I went to an oriental medicine clinic and checked out my pulse. I was told that I had pain after giving birth to a child, and I took oriental medicine for 30 days, but there was no improvement of my illness. I was told that I should get a complete examination at a large hospital. So, I went to Seoul Baek Hospital and got a complete examination, but I was told I had no problem from a medical point of view. I was told that the pain came from overwork and that I will get better if I take a rest. But my condition became worse and the pain over my whole body became stronger. And as days went by, I could not sleep and eat. My skin began to dry up and my skin color turned black and blue. Hospitals and oriental medicine clinics were of no use. I tried some fork remedies, but it was of no use as well. I went anywhere that I heard could cure my illness. I went to Changwon, Daegu, Busan, I went all over the whole country and tried everything that I could, but they were all of no use and my illness became worse. As my skin turned blue and as my finger started to rot black, painkillers were of no use. I could not sleep at all, and I spent long nights shaking my finger, circling around the room, crying alone. As I could not eat and sleep, my pain that cannot be described in words continued. As high fever of 40 degrees Celsius continued, every night a fistful of hair fell out, and as I lost all hope, I came to the point where I had to cut my finger off. So I was hospitalized to the orthopedic surgery section of the famous Baek Hospital. After one, two days, one month and two months of continuous examination the hospital could not say what the sickness was caused from. They said that more than my finger my internal problem was more serious and made various assumptions. And as they found no way for me to use my finger and the problem got more serious, I started to go mad. My legs and arms had to be tied, and I was in the position of going in and out of the intensive care unit. Everyone who came to visit began to worry, and it came to the point that the church’s wives association was preparing my Seunghwa ceremony. My sister who was tending over me quit her job, pushed her family aside and tried with all her heart and soul to save me, and there was intense dedication among the Ilshin church members and other people who knew about my situation. But it all was of no use. At every joint there was formation of pus, and in my elbow, head, hip, there was no undamaged area in my body. Moreover, as my body was gradually becoming stiff, there was no hope in me living. During this moment, I was able to meet heaven’s daughter who gave me a new life. Through a church member, Choi, Geumshoon, who made it possible for me to be hospitalized in the Baek Hospital at the beginning of June 1994, before Cheongpyeong providence started, I was able to meet Kim, Hyonam, Hoon Mo Nim, (at that time a deaconess). When she first came to see me, Dae Mo Nim said, “God said to me, ‘There is my loving daughter whose finger is rotting and dying. Quickly find her and save her.’ And this is exactly the daughter.” I did not understand the meaning of those words, but I had the heart to believe in her. She asked me questions about my illness, prayed and then left. However, there was not much improvement. After a few days, she came back and prayed for me. But she said that she needed a place to light up a holy candle and pray and that the hospital was not a good place. The next day, I took a leave of absence from the hospital and had a special prayer session of liberating spirits at the house of deaconess, Choi, Geumshoon. After liberating spirits in me for six hours and concretely examining the cause of the sickness, Dae Mo Nim said the following: “This sickness is spiritual, and in your husband’s lineage the ancestors were of the yangban(upper class) who used their authority. The sickness was the result of a very wicked wife of that lineage. There were many slaves with the master’s wife, and one female slave crushed her finger as she was pounding grain in a mill that was powered by stepping on one’s foot. The finger became impaired, and because she could not get her finger treated, the finger festered and the whole hand up to the wrist started to rot and become dead. Without giving the slave medical treatment, the wife of the master mistreated her because she could not work, scolded her for being smelly and finally kicked her out of the house. Moreover, she kicked her out without giving her any pay. Because of this, the slave was pent up with han. The slave woman who died united with other slaves at that time to release the han against this wife of the master and troubled the people of the lineage of the master. Finally the spirits planned to kill this kind and precious daughter from this lineage, that heaven loved, in the same way that the slave woman died.” This is what Dae Mo Nim said. Dae Mo Nim called upon the spirits one by one and liberated them, and even she conditionally took care of the wages that were overdue. As I returned to the hospital after receiving this special spiritual grace, starting from that evening a miracle occurred. For the first time, I could go to sleep. The following day, I also had the craving to eat something. Not knowing from where, I was feeling refreshed and feeling good. However, my body still hurt and the pain continued. Dae Mo Nim devoted all herself to cure me; she instructed me everything, made oriental medicine for me while lighting the holy candle, which took eight hours, and visited me frequently. The doctors said that because my blood is not circulating, I have myocardial infraction(stoppage of the heart muscle) and they said that I need to have an operation to examine the heart tissue. Because I felt that I should not get an operation, I asked Hoon Mo Nim. Hoon Mo Nim replied, “You will die, if you get an operation. Since you no longer need to stay in the hospital, should you leave.” But would the doctors allow someone who is about to die to leave the hospital? I thought that the doctors would not easily allow someone, who will die, if the person goes out the hospital door, to leave the hospital. By making an excuse that I will stay at home for a few days and return, I was able to leave the hospital that one time. The doctor who was in charge of me allowed me to leave after handing a bundle of medicine, requesting me without fail to take medication and injections every four hours and another every six hours. After I returned home, I only believed in Dae Mo Nim’s words and cut off completely from all the prescription medicine and the doctor’s directions. With absolute faith, I obeyed all of Dae Mo Nim’s orders. After returning home, Dae Mo Nim came to visit me in person and through the special grace of her final prayer, I revived back to life. When my physical parents, brothers and sisters went to a fortune teller or a spiritual medium, wherever they went, they were discouraged because I was told that I will die. And with my condition at the hospital, I was no different than a dead person. But because I lived, I am proof to the victory of having the faith in following the Unification Church and believing in God. Due to True Parent’s love and the sacrificial effort of Dae Mo Nim and Hoon Mo Nim, I gained a new life and am living a 2nd life. I am thankful to the people who assisted me physically and spiritually. I am especially grateful to the Ilshin church members for their love in devoting themselves with tears, regardless to whether it was night or day, to save this unworthy person. They devoted themselves with the determination that, “If our elder member goes to spiritual world, let us go to spiritual world and bring her back.” Even now, I cannot forget that love. And from the time I was sick to until I recovered, during that long period of time, I am deeply grateful to my loving husband. There was not one instance when he said one word of complaint or made one act of irritation. Only he tried to comfort me by saying, “Today you are better than yesterday.” How can I repay God, who has granted me a new life, True Parents, who has allowed me to live a life that is like a miracle and Dae Mo Nim and Hoon Mo Nim, for their sacrificial love and grace? Even though I am insufficient, I offer the rest of my life and my soul, and have the heart of living only for the sake of True Parents. Even today, I am living with gratitude. Thank you very much.
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